I woke up last night and stepped into the kitchen to grab a drink of water. The house was quiet, though as I looked around, I could tell the stories of what had transpired after I went to bed.
As I quietly closed cabinet doors, put chargers back where they belonged and placed dishes in the dishwasher, I paused and looked around this home of mine as a wave of gratitude overwhelmed me to the point of grasping the countertop. Memories of children piled onto the couches, movie nights, family meetings, board games, Christmas mornings, stories read out loud and a home that has welcomed hundreds in its short life played before my eyes.
I opened my eyes slowly, feeling more present in this moment, and I saw the blanket on the couch neatly folded. I knew my teenage son had done that for me before he went to bed last night. He remembered — how thoughtful!
I saw a board game on the coffee table, picked up, but not put away, and I thought, ‘Oh, they played a game together – How great is that?’ I glanced upstairs. Our staircase is a bit creaky these days. Bouts of tag, acrobatics and boys vaulting over the railing will do that over the years. I roll my eyes and call out a reminder when that happens now, but I secretly smile. My kids being kids … how wonderful! How thankful I am to be their mother.
This home and this mother’s heart of mine is a vault. Within it holds the memories of a family, the story of a husband and wife who make a daily offering of their life: good, bad, crazy and joyful. They’ve placed it all in the Lord’s hands and last night I stood in awe of it all. Not only awe, but I breathed it in.
The juxtaposition of feeling light, joyful and overwhelmingly grateful did not escape my notice because I know, as the keeper of it all here in this home, that there are so many outside influences pressuring my family right now. Satan creeps in and it is a daily fight to hold steady to what we know is right, good and true. There is tension at times in my home. There is division. Arguments and silent moments that bring no peace. And yet, the light stands against it all. It always will.
As a mom of 23 years, I have spent so much time thinking forward, planning, waiting and worrying, focused on what comes next, all the while trying to control and hold onto it all. How peaceful and light it is to step back from that place and see the present moment with the fullness of gratitude.
Our heartaches and struggles need not take away from that gratitude. If we have loved ones away from the church, away from our family, we can still be grateful for the time we had with them and the ability to intercede for them. There is purpose and dignity in that.
If bills are tight and work is hard to find, we can thank the Lord for friends who step into the gap and a community that holds us close. If there is illness, slander, suffering or pain, though it may be ever so hard, we can be thankful for the presence of God who is forming us in those trials.
Savoring where God has us this very moment begets gratitude. It forces us to recognize that He, the Lord, the creator of it all, is with us right now and we are not alone. His plans have always been better than our own and when we rest in them, there is security, peace and protection even in the storms.
This article also appeared at the Catholic Times.
